A friend told me in college that she couldn’t be pro-life because “not all mothers have the support they need to choose life. Pro-life people need to take care of the mothers, too.”
Until that conversation, I thought the issue of abortion was straightforward. (In many ways, it is: Life is a precious gift from God and should be treasured at all times, from conception to natural death.) But my friend opened my eyes to see beyond the babies to include the mothers carrying those babies in their womb.
After college, I lived in community with pregnant women, helping with their day-to-day needs. Sharing a home with these women allowed me to gain glimpses into their lives and their struggles, but even while living in community with these women, much of my mindset was still focused on the babies. My inability to see the fuller picture, to realize the deep need of the women I was trying to serve, was reinforced by the silence that surrounds so many of the difficulties all women experience during pregnancy.
Every pregnancy is unique, but after four of my own, I now understand something about the incredibly arduous journey of carrying a life. For me, pregnancy has meant steady nausea for 18+ weeks, incredible fatigue, the physical inability to stay awake during the day and the inability to sleep at night, fluctuations in hormones and emotions, moments of rage and moments of weeping, terrible back pain, food aversions, constipation, congestion, indigestion, heartburn, leg cramps and the list goes on. These are all considered normal symptoms of a healthy pregnancy and most women can attest to these experiences if not even more difficult ones. Giving life to a child requires an immense amount of sacrifice. I have been blessed with a supportive and loving husband, extended family and broader community. I can’t imagine going through all of this alone, without support, and yet many women in difficult situations, facing the decision of abortion, are without these circles of support.
When we stand up for the life of the unborn, when we declare that we are pro-life, when we stand against abortion, we are also standing for sacrifice, pain and suffering. Motherhood, in all its instantiations, is a cross to bear. Too often, we ask women to consider adoption instead of abortion, thinking they will be spared the difficulties of motherhood, but that is not the truth. From the moment of conception, a woman becomes a mother, and her body begins to sacrifice for her child.
When we cry out against the evils of abortion, we must also remember the women we are asking to bear this cross. We cannot leave them to walk alone.
If you would like to help a mother in need, contact a local maternity home or care center. Through a maternity home, you may be able to provide meals, help with chores around the house, watch children or volunteer in another capacity. Through a care center, you may be able to send cards of affirmation, pray for clients by name or help with other needs. Finally, as you go about your daily life, offer words of encouragement and affirmation to mothers—to those pregnant and those with children. These small words help to sustain all mothers as we work to care for God’s littlest.